My friend M is really sick. She could have hurt herself or others last night because she's sick and we're tired of dealing with it. I was mad and didn't think through the consequences of taking her to her car. I'd never be able to forgive myself if something happened to her. She needs help. And badly. I'm not really sure what else to do about it, but it needs to be done soon. Today was a wake up call, and I don't want it to be anything more.
Someone I follow on the innernets, Jackie!, just found out today that she's exhausted all the treatments she can for her brain tumor. This makes me oh so sad and oh so angry. She's in her early 30s and has so much more life to lead. It's not fair that she knows she won't make it out of 2012. I pray she does. It's just. not. fair.
In the midst of these two horrible situations, I feel more grounded in faith than I have in a long time. I've got a long way to go to figure out my beliefs, but it feels so much better to be able to say that I can pray - and do - and mean it. It helps when the world is so unfair, to be able to give it to someone higher than me. It seems selfish to say that in light of their struggles, but it's the truth. And the truth I vowed to live by this year.
So, God, you listening? Get ready, I feel like I'm going to have a lot to say.
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