Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun.

My heart is so heavy. It feels like I can't tell anyone anything.

My friends are mean about my relationship with my mom, so I definitely won't be telling them about the latest row.

My mom knows it all and of course, I'm wrong about the things I'm wrong about, which coincide with the things she's right about come hell-or-high-water, so I can't tell her the things I want - less I want to feel  badly for the rest of the night.

It's the night like these - the silence, the ear-deafening quiet - where my heart is so. heavy. It almost feels like I can't do anything but focus on how heavy it is.

I attempt to make changes, and someone inevitably doesn't accept them.

I made a goal to sit still & listen, and I'm planning on doing exactly that. I let people talk me out of happiness last year, and I won't let them do it again this year. Even if it means backing into a plan...I'd rather do that then not do it at all.

And by rather, I mean have to. I can't not do this.

I know, sometimes a lot of the times I make the choices that get me in these positions. And I'm working on it. Change does not come overnight. I'm trying to navigate happiness just like everyone else.

I just tend to do a bit of a worse job on it than everyone else.

Bottom line? My heart is very, very sad.

And there's no one to talk to about it.