Which one's lost - dating today, or my perception of what it should be?

I'm so confused about dating. Can someone tell me what morning I woke up and the rules changed?

When did it become okay to only text message, then go to wanting to hook up with nothing in between? No dates, no talking, no nothing. Is that what I'm supposed to be okay with? Guys who talk about how physically attracted they are to me, knowing full and damn well 3 sentences later they will be talking about what a mistake it was or how inappropriate this is? No thanks.

How am I supposed to govern myself in the moment? I want so badly to do the right thing, the thing that will allow me to go to sleep at night without issues and still feel like myself, but it's so hard to do that *in the moment*. So then I'm left wondering what decision was the right one - the one I made or the other option.

Let's rewind a second. Maybe it'll make more sense from the beginning.

I was relatively good today, until hanging out with Trainer and I read an email from a coworker blasting me on something my boss asked me to do. It was a venting email, a bit more harsh than it should have been, had my old boss copied on it (awesome) and generally hurt my feelings. That took me down. I know coworker was frustrated, but seriously? We all have a job to do and I was just doing mine. I feel like my boss puts me out there sometimes in ways I I feel a bit unequipped to handle, especially b/c I'm relatively sure that in her whole quest to start-acting-like-the-promotion-she's-about-to-get, she doesn't really have my back anymore.

So anyways.

I'm feeling like a wounded puppy and Trainer is getting ready to leave. Except the only thing on his mind is kissing me which isn't the worst problem to have in the world, let me assure you. But I've heard him say more times than I'm willing to admit that he "only wants to be friends," "doesn't think kissing (or anything else) is appropriate," la de dah de dah. So I'm left with this split second decision, and I decide no, you can't kiss me only to text me 5 minutes from now to apologize and tell me you dont see me like that.

I sent him a text afterwards to explain, and he seemed to be okay. It's just me having the mental crisis, as usual. But now that I've written it out, I feel better. I'm okay with my decision because we've been down this road waaaay too many times. But my original questions still stand. Is the art of dating - meeting someone, getting to know them, then becoming "adults" in your relationship (in whatever way you see fit) really that much of a lost art? Am I that old fashioned?

Because I don't know anymore. I really don't.